How we boomers can  avoid depression and boost happiness as we age

Making time for joy with my great nieces

5 MISTAKES TO AVOID FOR JOY AFTER 50

1. Not making time for joy: It’s proven: happier people are more successful in all areas of life…love, health, brain function, vitality, creativity, longevity! Joy is not frivolous. It deserves respect. Remember what makes your heart sing and schedule time to do it!
2. Worrying about your looks: Acceptance is a powerful quality. I recommended that one of my clients, age 63, stand in front of a mirror, unclothed, and just gaze. I told her to expect the critic to shout its comments but to keep looking at her body. After several such sessions, she became less judging, a curiosity and an ease arose. She reported that she reached a state of acceptance. “I am 63 years old, I do work out and eat well and… this is my body at 63.”
3. Multitasking. I heard author Anne Lamott exclaim, “Life is so big and wild when you’re not multitasking!” I would add that it also creates  havoc with an aging brain. I notice that, when I am fully present with one thing at a time, I think clearly, am more relaxed and much more effective. Set an intention today to be exquisitely present with each activity…one thing at a time!
4. Putting yourself at the bottom of the priority list: Women are hard-wired to nurture and care for others….a wonderful quality that brings us much joy. The problem is that that trait can lead to self-sacrificing behavior which can breed resentment and anger (for not getting one’s own needs met). Make a habit of treating  yourself to something you enjoy: a walk in nature, a bubblebath, facial or massage. Calendar something each week,  just for you.
   
5. Complaining, comparing, criticizing: I call these the 3 demons. I recommend that my clients stay alert to these  joy-busters. They are guaranteed to create an unhappy mood. Joy after fifty is dependent upon our practicing “thought patrol” and simply stopping when we are complaining, comparing or criticizing are saying “cancel”.  Replacing the demon with a gratitude helps. When I catch myself  comparing myself to someone else, I know I’m attracting negativity. We are unique women. No one has ever been or ever will be just like us. It doesn’t serve us in any way to compare ourselves, our accomplishments, our looks, or lives to anyone!

NEXT POST: 5 more Mistakes to avoid for Joy after 50

PLEASE COMMENT: How do you avoid multitasking? What are your secrets for loving your body and not worrying about aging? How do you make yourself a priority? What brings you joy?