Tribute to a 9/11 Hero: His Joy, Courage, Resilience, and Service

Frank DeMartini: A True Hero on September 11, 2001

A 9-11 Memorial to a True American Hero 10 Years Later

A chance encounter in a Greenwich Village restaurant in August, 2001 altered the course of my life and work. My friend, Pam, introduced me to her friends—Nicole and Frank DeMartini— who were seated at a nearby table. It’s difficult to explain how it was possible that the mere hour we spent in conversation would profoundly influence the next 10 years of my life.

Have you ever met someone who makes a profound impression on you in a brief moment of time, leaving you to wonder what that was all about? Well, that was my experience of Frank. I will never forget the joyful light in his eyes, his dazzling smile. None of us knew that Frank DeMartini was destined, in a few weeks, to become an American hero.

As construction manager of the World Trade Center, Frank knew the towers. When disaster struck on September 11, he was on the 88th floor of the north tower. Within minutes, he found an intact stairway and began ushering people, including his wife, to safety. He remained to help the injured, never to escape.

For years I couldn’t shake the memory of Frank: his aliveness and his joyful radiance—often rare in this fast-paced, stressful era. I realized how revitalizing it is to be touched by another’s happiness. I spent countless hours thinking about joy—how undervalued it is—yet, how, in difficult times, it revives and empowers resilience, courage, passion, and loving kindness.

The vivid memory of Frank’s joyful spirit was like a beacon guiding me to research the science of happiness and positive psychology, to found transformational programs called JoyWorks™—consulting, seminars, and retreats—to create this blog and to write a soon-to-be-published book, Joy After Fifty: A Woman’s Guide to Passion, Purpose and Lasting Happiness. Out of the ashes, a light continues to illuminate my path. There are no words to adequately express my gratitude.

Click here to watch a  trailer of a TLC documentary about the heroism of Frank DeMartini and Pablo Ortiz.

Let’s remember how our presence and state of being affects others—in ways we may never know. Setting an intention to radiate joy and love is the greatest gift we can offer those who cross our path.

How did the tragedy of September 11, 2001 influence your life path? Please share your story of healing, hope, transformation.

With love and hope for peace on earth,

Connie

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Recipes from Heaven: A Celebration of Life for Janice on Julia Child’s Birthday

~In Memory of Janice's Joy of Cooking~

A Girlfriend Dies But Her Spirit Lives On Through Her Love: How Will You and I Be Remembered?

I am just now able to write to you after the loss of one of my very dearest, long-time friends. For the last many weeks, life as usual just wasn’t. Rather than extend myself outward to the world, I honored the need to be inward, to be still, to reflect, to really be present with 20+ years of memories of Janice–and to contemplate life and death—hers and my own.

My training  in the science of happiness and positive psychology have given me a gift. I have been able to access deep joy alongside my deep sadness—by the process of “savoring” happy memories of Janice. I close my eyes, conjure up a memory of a  ballet we attended in San Francisco, of our travels and adventures throughout Mexico, of  planning the menu for a women’s retreat in Sayulita, Mexico, of her thoughtful cards, newspaper clippings, emails, check-in calls, etc.

But what is most remarkable and memorable about Janice is the way she expressed her love to so many—humans and animals alike—by “feeding” us beautiful food. Not only did she delight her family and friends with magnificent international gourmet meals, she always carried doggie treats in her car and purse. After one of my retreats in Mexico, we fell in love with Pedro, a black lab who followed us everywhere. Janice made a beeline for the carniceria (meat market), bought all kinds of innards (yuck), hauled them home and cooked up a feast for our friend! (No wonder Pedro found us on many subsequent visits!) Another time in Mexico, she cooked for days in preparation for an unforgettable banquet for my 60th birthday.

This is one of Janice’s  favorite quotes: “One of the negatives I see in life today is that some people feel like they’re wasting time shopping and cooking. But I don’t think so. The time you devote to your meals is time attending to your spirit. You’re putting yourself in communion with the earth, with your origins, with something much deeper. I believe this is one of the most important things we need to recover in our lives.” ~ Laura Esquivel, author of Like Water for Chocolate

How will you and I be remembered? I believe we will be remembered most of all for how well we loved. In our fast-paced lives we must pause and ask ourselves, what will really matter at the end of my life? What can I do today, to ensure that I will be remembered for how I expressed my love?

How has someone you cared about left you a legacy of love? How do you make time to express your love? Please offer your comments below.

With love and joyful wishes,

Connie

Remembering Helen Keller: A Woman of Optimism, Resilience and Life Success

Inspiration from Helen Keller on Her Birthday

I hope you enjoy this video and the quotes below. When I am feeling challenged in my life, I find inspiration in the life and wisdom of this remarkable woman—a model of courage, grace and determination to transform her “limitations” into a life purpose in service to humanity. Research shows that happier people are those who are following an inner calling that has heart and meaning for them.

What is your unique calling at this time? Mine is to teach women how to activate that ever present inner state of joy—proven to reduce stress, increase harmony in relationships, to improve concentration and to build resilience for thriving through adversity. My soon-to-be-published book, Joy After Fifty: A Woman’s Guide to Passion, Purpose and Lasting Happiness blossomed out of this calling. I would love to support you in blossoming your unique purpose at this time in your life.  Contact me for simple steps to get started.

From Helen Keller to Inspire You Along the Way:

~Many persons have the wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness.
It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity
to a worthy purpose.

~No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars or sailed an
uncharted land, or opened a new doorway for the human spirit.

~Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn
whatever state I am in, therein to be content.

~The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen
or even touched. They must be felt within the heart.

~When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often
we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the
one which has been opened for us.

~When we do the best that we can, we never know what miracle
is wrought in our life, or in the life of another.

~Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also
of the overcoming of it.

~Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul
be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.

~Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.

Click here to read more about Helen Keller.

I wish you strength, courage, optimism and trust to overcome the challenges in your life.

With loving wishes,

Connie

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Unstoppable Women 60+: Inspiration for Success and Fitness at Any Age

60+ Women Sizzle: Racing to a Successful Finish Regardless of Age

Last week, we celebrated an inspirational woman who, at 81, realized her lifelong dream of earning a college degree. This week, we celebrate two amazing women who are living proof that “age is nothing but a number.”

Meet Jamie Rivers (age 60) and Melody-Anne Schultz (age 69), two incredible athletes with five victories between them in Marin County California’s historic Dipsea Race.

Now in its 101st year, the Dipsea Race is the oldest cross-country trail race in the U.S. A beautiful yet challenging course, it spans 7.5 miles from Mill Valley to Stinson Beach, and holds a special place in the hearts of many Northern Californians. What makes it even more special is its unique handicapping system, which ensures runners from all walks of life have a shot at victory.

So it was that on Sunday,  June 12, Mill Valley nurse Jamie Rivers broke the tape, becoming a two-time Dipsea champion with an impressive finish time of 47:34. A lifelong athlete (she grew up as an avid swimmer in Guam), she is the fourth woman in Dipsea history with multiple wins under her belt. Last year a hamstring injury caused her to finish 622nd – but she certainly didn’t let that keep her down! “This is incredible,” says Rivers, “I wasn’t expecting to win.”

Also running Sunday’s race was three-time winner and Dipsea hall-of-famer Melody-Anne Schultz. This extraordinary grandmother of five has set records in the Boston and London marathons, winning many races by huge margins, and thereby changing perceptions of what older women can accomplish. She began running at age 46 and has set the bar high ever since. Like Rivers, Schultz refuses to allow setbacks to discourage her – for the past several years she has cheerfully competed in the Dipsea against medical advice.

Congratulations to Rivers and Schultz – two unstoppable, inspirational women – and to the top 11 finishers of the 2011 Dipsea Race, ten of whom were 50+!

If you’d like to try your luck next year in this beloved race, keep an eye on the Dipsea website – registration fills up fast!

Dr Walter M. Bortz II, scientific expert on aging and longevity, and author of Dare to Be 100, is an advocate of physical fitness for optimal aging. Click here to visit his inspiring website!

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Your Big Life Dream: It’s Never Too Late!

Achieve Your Big Dream: Age is Only a Number!

Congratulations to Jeanne Bernek, an 81-year-old great grandmother from Greensboro Bend, Vermont, who graduated from college with an Associates Degree in Business.

Jeanne, who enjoys walking, hiking and gardening, remains as mentally active as she is physically. She decided to enroll in college in her late 70s and proudly received her diploma on June 4. She is especially thrilled that both she and her granddaughter, a nursing student, celebrated together as members of the 2011 graduating class.

Jeanne’s busy “past life” as a working mother simply hadn’t allowed her to attend college, but at this stage of her life, anything was possible. “It’s never too late to get an education,” Jeanne told a reporter, adding that her motivation to return to school was to achieve the dream she had shelved for so long.

Click to read more

This inspirational story and the season of graduations brings me to the question:

As you think back, what dreams might you have put on the shelf? What inner song is yet to be sung? Remember: it’s never too late!

They may not take the form of textbooks and term papers, but possibly paintbrushes and palettes, a book of your memoirs, travel to far-away places, or any number of aspirations that can be dusted off and pursued today with passion. Or, perhaps you would love to go back to school, like Jeanne. If so, what would you study? Either way, I’d love to hear from you! Please comment below.

With Joy Always,

Connie

Laughter as Medicine: The Fun Cure for Stress, Pain and Disease


Laugh Your Way to Health and Happiness

Sometimes, laughter really is the best medicine. It can relieve anything from stress, chronic pain, depression, anxiety, loneliness, weak immunity, fatigue, heart disease, and more.

Tension and stress melt away when you laugh because laughter loosens the body; a good, long laugh can relax your muscles for roughly an hour. Not only that, it reduces stress hormones, improves blood flow and vessel functions (great for cardiovascular health), and raises endorphin levels (these produce a sense of happiness, well-being, and even pain relief). Recent studies have even shown that laughter increases the “Natural Killer Cells,” B cells and T cells, which fight diseases, viruses, and tumors.  From a social and psychological standpoint, laughter also does wonders. It helps diffuse difficult situations, shifts our perspective when we feel stressed or overwhelmed, and — in its ability to create bonds and instill joy, positivity and connectedness — it also encourages relationship-building. Here are some innovative ways people have harnessed the power of laughter as a means of promoting good health and healing:

  • Over 30 years ago, professor and author Norman Cousins asked, “Is it possible that love, hope, faith, laughter, confidence, and the will to live have therapeutic value?” In his book, Anatomy of an Illness, he explains that the answer is a resounding “yes!” This influential best-seller chronicles how humor and laughter allowed Cousins to overcome a life-threatening tissue disease.
  • In order to provide compassionate and effective healthcare, Dr. Patch Adams encouraged medical students to foster real, heartfelt connections with their patients, utilizing humor and play to stimulate healing and recovery. Adams believes that laughter is an integral part of proper patient care, and in 1971 founded the Gesundheit! Institute – a free hospital located in West Virginia. One of its core principles involves “humanitarian clowning,” a practice that the Institute has taken to refugee camps and orphanages worldwide, including those in Bosnia, Macedonia, and South Africa.
  • Known as the “Giggling Guru,” Dr. Madan Kataria formed an influential movement called “Laughter Yoga,” promoting self-triggered laughter as a means of curing nearly any ailment of the mind or body. Laughter Yoga is practiced by a quarter of a million people worldwide, with 6,000 clubs in India . Learn more here, and try this fun, contagious practice  with friends!

For further reading on the power of laughter, check out these titles:

Gesundheit! Bringing Good Health to You, the Medical System, and Society through Physician Service, Complementary Therapies, Humor, and Joy (Patch Adams M.D.)
Anatomy of an Illness as Perceived by a Patient (Norman Cousins)
The Healing Power of Humor (Allen Klein)
Laughter Therapy (Annette Goodheart)

**Movies, books, comics, stand-up, your friends — whatever gets you laughing, give it a try! It’s a free and powerful tool for joyful healing.

** If you enjoyed this post, please click “Like” below. We also LOVE  your comments!! Have you tried Laughter Yoga?

With loving blessings, Connie

Your Happiness, Health and Longevity: Good Nutrition and Wellbeing Means Avoiding GMOs

Is one of these harmful to your health?

Protect Your Health and The Health of Your Loved Ones by Avoiding GMOs!

In recent years, the nature of our food supply has come into sharper focus: human rights, organics, sustainability, and animal cruelty are all issues at the forefront. Biotechnology – specifically Genetically Modified Organisms (GMOs) – are no exception to the hot debate. Since one of the goals of this blog is to promote health, vitality and awareness, I think it’s worthwhile to take a closer look.

What are GMOs?
GMOs are edible crop plants designed in a laboratory to add or improve traits such as herbicide/pesticide resistance, increased crop yield, or superior nutritional content (largely for the benefit of malnourished populations).

Why are some people concerned about GMOs?
Scientists have discovered a possible connection between GMOs and symptoms ranging from  allergies, irregular cell growth, compromised immune systems, antibiotic resistance, misshapen or damaged organs, and fertility issues. In 2001 the U.S. Center for Disease Control stated that food causes twice the number of illnesses than it did seven years earlier. The truth is that most tests cannot detect the differences between GMO and non-GMO crops at the DNA level, and few studies have been conducted to assess their impact. It’s this very uncertainty and lack of information about long-term effects of GMOs that tends to cause worry.

Why aren’t GMO foods labeled as such?
In the United States, the FDA claims that GMO foods are virtually identical to non-GM foods, and therefore should not be forced to adopt stricter labeling. European governments have a different – and more skeptical policy – surrounding GMOs. In order to institute a domestic GMO labeling policy, major legislative changes need to take place within our government. Currently we have one third-party agency that oversees GMO labeling and consumer education: the Non-GMO Project, a non-profit organization.

How can I avoid GMO foods?
There are eight major GMO food crops consisting of Canola, Corn, Cottonseed, Hawaiian Papaya, Sugar Beets, Soybeans, and some Zucchini and Yellow Squash. I received a reputable health newsletter recently that warned, “Never eat non-organic corn, canola oil or soy products!”

When shopping for sugar, look for organic products labeled “pure cane sugar.” Otherwise they most likely will contain GM sugar beets. For dairy products, you can avoid GMOs by scanning for labels stating: No rBGH, rBST, or artificial hormones. Keep in mind that corn, for instance, is in lots of foods such as corn chips, tortillas, muffins, corn syrup, etc.

* Read the little sticker labels on fruits. You will see a series of numbers…

5 digits, starting with a 9 = Organic;  4 or 5 digits, often starting with 4 = Conventional; digits starting with an 8 = GMO: Run!

How can I learn more?
If you’d like to dive deeper into this topic, food journalist and activist Jeffrey Smith has written a comprehensive and informative book titled Seeds of Deception: Exposing Industry and Government Lies About the Safety of the Genetically Engineered Foods You’re Eating. Smith provides a useful primer, delving into the difficult question of whether GMO foods are safe, and presenting case studies that highlight some of the unexpected impacts.

What are your thoughts on GMO foods? Please comment below.Whatever your position, here’s to staying safe, healthy and – above all – informed.

With joy, Connie

Photo Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/roblisameehan/4466650593/

Happy Mother’s Day: Celebrating With Gratitude, Love and Memories

A Mom Launches Us Into Life

Honoring and Remembering Our Mothers

**A mother’s happiness is like a beacon, lighting up the future but reflected also on the past in the guise of fond memories.” ~HonorĂ© de Balzac

As I write this, I am looking at a photo of my mother, Bertie, whose smile lit up the world. She brought a joie de vivre wherever she went. She was a second mother to all my friends who sought her out for support and attention. I was proud of her youthful beauty and energy. The local grocer, upon seeing us would exclaim, “Here come the Clark sisters!”

On May 3, 1976 my mother died of a brain aneurysm at 53. It rocked my world off its axis. I miss her still. If she were here today, I would tell her about my gratitude, which I never fully embraced until I “grew up” and forgave her for not being the perfect mother! If she were here today, I’d shower her with her favorite things: Reese’s peanut butter cups, the New York Times crossword puzzles, a picnic on the beach, shopping at Loehmann’s, a luncheon for her Kiwi friends (retired American Airlines stewardesses) or a Sunday drive in the country.

Here in the U.S., we celebrate by treating our mothers to a meal, a massage, giving flowers or gifts. Perhaps the best way to celebrate Mom is to be fully present with her–to deeply listen and fully love and appreciate her while expecting nothing in return—remembering that, although, our mothers may have made mistakes, they did the best they could.

If your mom is no longer living, why not take out a picture of her, light and candle and remember her, thank her for whatever sacrifices she made and for giving you life.

Mother’s Day Around the World

Although Mother’s Day is a fairly recent phenomenon – stemming from pacifist movements that sprang up following the U.S. Civil War – this  holiday is widely celebrated. The dates vary according to country, with many cultures adapting it to existing celebrations of women – Virgin Mary Day for Catholic cultures, the birthday of the prophet’s daughter for Islamic countries, etc. Though the meaning can vary for each community, at its heart Mother’s Day is an opportunity for each family to celebrate and honor their mother.

In Bangladesh, the day is marked with organized government activities, performances and TV programs.

In Bolivia, Mother’s Day actually commemorates the Battle of Coronilla during the Bolivian War of Independence, in which women took part in the fighting, many of whom were killed. As a result, the Bolivian holiday is more somber in tone than the American celebration.

Carnations and lilies – which Chinese mothers traditionally planted on the occasion their children left home – are common gifts on Mother’s Day in China.

During WWI in France and WWII in Germany, Mother’s Day was first popularized in an attempt to encourage population growth – mothers of large families were awarded medals! Eventually the holiday came to include all mothers, regardless of family size.

Mother’s Day is cherished in Indonesia, and as such they play host to some very lively Mother’s Day festivities. These including surprise parties, cooking competitions, and giving mothers a chore-free day of pampering.

However we celebrate, may we all deeply acknowledge the endless love and effort put forth by our mothers. Happy Mother’s Day!

With love for the mother and life giver within us all,

Connie

Photo Credit: Violette 79

Money Management for Women 50+ : Suze Orman on Financial Planning for Retirement

A recent AARP survey revealed that 60% of seniors have had to change their retirement plans as a result of the economic downturn. Although these numbers might dismay us, there is much we can do to ease financial hardship down the road. Financial planning expert Suze Orman’s new book: The Money Class: Learn to Create Your New American Dream is filled with wisdom on how to take control of your finances and achieve your goals. Here are a few pointers to start with:

  • “Right-size” your lifestyle – living below your means is one of the best ways to avoid financial heartache. Carefully examine the line between what you want versus what you need. Establish a modest permanent standard of living rather than allowing your lifestyle to become more lavish with each pay raise.
  • Be brutally honest – Orman recommends taking a painfully realistic view of your financial situation. She says “standing in your truth” is the foundation of all smart, effective personal accounting.
  • Pay with cash – avoiding your credit and debit cards – which tend to distance us from our spending – helps eliminate the temptation to overextend ourselves, Orman says.
  • Start an 8-month emergency fund – when an individual loses their job, according to Orman it usually takes anywhere from 2-8 months to find a new one. To avoid stress and extreme financial duress, begin to set aside an 8-month fund. Apart from unemployment, this will help ease the burden of unexpected expenses: home repairs, medical bills, etc.
  • Avoid overspending on college – many parents believe they must go into debt to send their children to elite colleges. Orman discourages this mentality, pointing out that when individuals take out loans for their child’s education, they increase the likelihood of retiring without financial means. In the long run, this could become a serious burden not only for them but for their children.
  • Consider an IRA – if you don’t have an 8-month fund, and your employer won’t match your 401k contributions, you might consider investing in an IRA. For advice on AARP’s “heir-tight” IRA investments, click here.
  • Look forward, not back – “Do not mourn what you’ve lost,” Orman says. It takes the momentum and energy away from the present. Focus on doing the best you can in the here and now.

Do you have any little savings tricks or investment wisdom? Please share your thoughts in the comments below.

Joy is the New Success: Keys to Health, Love, Creativity and Longevity

Joy is Essential to Successful Relating and Loving Connection

Joy is the new success in life and work!

From my studies of the fields of positive psychology and the science of happiness, I have deepened my respect for the essential nature of  joy in our lives. It’s now proven that people who know how to activate inner joy are more successful in all areas of life:  career, relationship, health, wealth, longevity etc.

Did you know that 40% of your happiness is in your control? For example:

  • Naming 3 things that went well at the end of each day can reduce stress and fill your mind with happy thoughts before sleep.
  • Every morning, as soon as I awaken, I name at least 4 things I am grateful for in my life. It helps me start the day with a bright outlook.

Since happiness is the precursor to many of life’s riches, it makes sense to put joy-boosting activities (meditation, singing, dancing, laughing and playing) at the top of your to-do list. How about starting today?

In my forthcoming book, Joy after Fifty, I have synthesized the attitudes and behaviors proven to increase joy and life success into an easy, step-by-step  52 week format.  Here is a sample from the book of happiness-boosting  thoughts and actions to start your week.

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Reflecting on Joy: Questions to Ask Yourself…

  1. When did I stop making time for delight: dancing, singing, painting, traveling, cooking, walking in nature?
  2. What do I prioritize in my life/work?
  3. Where does joy fit in on my list of priorities?
  4. Knowing that prioritizing joy is putting the horse before the cart on the road to success, what activities do I need to reclaim to enhance my joy?

Activating Joy

  • Remember  an exhilarating time when you were fully engaged in a delightful activity — something you no longer make time for.
  • Close your eyes and recall that memory in full detail — see, hear, touch, smell and taste it.  Let your body and spirit feel the joy.  Hold the feeling for 60 seconds. This really works!
  • Decide what joy-enhancing activity you will make time for this week.  It should be so en-joy-able that you would choose to do it (or an equally satisfying activity) again for a month, a year or…perhaps forever.

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Please share your tips for boosting joy in the comments below.

Here’s to finding success in all your endeavors by prioritizing JOY!

Love, Connie

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