Women, Sex and Aging: Tips and Tools for more Enjoyment
It’s long been acknowledged that for human beings, sex is a need, not a luxury. So how do we deal with some of the common problems related to sex and aging? These can include diminishing sex drive (which is unfortunately much more common among women), inability to become aroused or achieve orgasm, and the onset of pain during intercourse*. These issues can have roots stemming from our physical or mental health. Luckily, there are many enjoyable ways to overcome these issues!
Bringing Back Romance
- Joan Price, author of Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk About Sex After Sixty, fitness instructor, and expert in sex 50+ tells us to slow down! As we age, it often takes longer for us to warm up. So take your time and enjoy the moment. Kisses and light touch help you and your partner bond. Holding each other before, during and afterwards, is one of the best parts of making love.
- Participate in sensual activities before you even head for the bedroom: shop for lingerie or sex toys, write notes about your fantasies, give gifts. Exercise together: take a walk, swim, dance–try Zumba, Salsa, or Tango!
- Set aside time to make love when you feel your best. Late night sex may prove more difficult or unappealing than in the past. That’s okay! Try it in the morning or afternoon.
- Make laughter a part of your routine. Play games, tease each other, have a playful attitude. Laughter is bonding, joyful, agelessâ€”and sexy.
Why do we know so little about this ancient practice? Tantra creates a powerful connection between partners. “Sexual energy is one of our most powerful energies for creating health,â€ť says Christiane Northrup, M.D. Practicing tantric sex is a great way to build intimacy. It is based on the belief that orgasm is not the main objective of sex — that the more you prolong the experience, becoming attuned to your partner and the sensations you feel, the more sexual energy gets channeled back into your body, increasing the intimate connection between and your partner. This same connection lowers our stress hormones and raises our serotonin levels! Click here for four easy beginner’s tips.Â
It’s no secret that being strong and flexible puts more zest into your sexual routine. But it’s been proven that if we feel healthy and fit, we have a better body image, which radically improves our libido. Kegels and other pelvic floor exercises areÂ incredibly powerful tools to improve women’s sexual experiences (see here for some great tips). Abdominal crunches, pushups, and back-strengthening exercises can also go a long way toward increasing muscle tone and endurance.
Sex toys bring sexual thrill and open the lines of communication between partners (not to mention many of them make solo sex an appealing possibility!) They are a wonderful way to help achieve orgasm, and show your partner how best to please you. Vibrators are one of the most popular sex toys, and there is more choice than ever with the range of products on the market. If you’re not sure where to start, here are some helpful resources: vibrator reviews, myths and facts, couples sex toys. Be sure to choose high quality toys and lubricants from a reputable store that cares about your sexual health. (e.g. Good Vibrations)
*Note: If you are experiencing physical discomfort during sex, always see a doctor before attempting these tips.
What are your tips for great sex after 50, 60 and better? Please tell us by commenting below.