Sex for Women over 50, 60, 70+: Lovemaking and Passion as You Age

Women, Sex and Aging: Tips and Tools for more Enjoyment

Sexy at any Age

It’s long been acknowledged that for human beings, sex is a need, not a luxury. So how do we deal with some of the common problems related to sex and aging? These can include diminishing sex drive (which is unfortunately much more common among women), inability to become aroused or achieve orgasm, and the onset of pain during intercourse*. These issues can have roots stemming from our physical or mental health. Luckily, there are many enjoyable ways to overcome these issues!

Bringing Back Romance

  • Joan Price, author of Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk About Sex After Sixty, fitness instructor, and expert in sex 50+ tells us to slow down! As we age, it often takes longer for us to warm up. So take your time and enjoy the moment. Kisses and light touch help you and your partner bond. Holding each other before, during and afterwards, is one of the best parts of making love.
  • Participate in sensual activities before you even head for the bedroom: shop for lingerie or sex toys, write notes about your fantasies, give gifts. Exercise together: take a walk, swim, dance–try Zumba, Salsa, or Tango!
  • Set aside time to make love when you feel your best. Late night sex may prove more difficult or unappealing than in the past. That’s okay! Try it in the morning or afternoon.
  • Make laughter a part of your routine. Play games, tease each other, have a playful attitude. Laughter is bonding, joyful, ageless—and sexy.

Tantra
Why do we know so little about this ancient practice? Tantra creates a powerful connection between partners. “Sexual energy is one of our most powerful energies for creating health,” says Christiane Northrup, M.D. Practicing tantric sex is a great way to build intimacy. It is based on the belief that orgasm is not the main objective of sex — that the more you prolong the experience, becoming attuned to your partner and the sensations you feel, the more sexual energy gets channeled back into your body, increasing the intimate connection between and your partner. This same connection lowers our stress hormones and raises our serotonin levels! Click here for four easy beginner’s tips. 

Exercise
It’s no secret that being strong and flexible puts more zest into your sexual routine. But it’s been proven that if we feel healthy and fit, we have a better body image, which radically improves our libido. Kegels and other pelvic floor exercises are  incredibly powerful tools to improve women’s sexual experiences (see here for some great tips). Abdominal crunches, pushups, and back-strengthening exercises can also go a long way toward increasing muscle tone and endurance.

Sex Toys
Sex toys bring sexual thrill and open the lines of communication between partners (not to mention many of them make solo sex an appealing possibility!) They are a wonderful way to help achieve orgasm, and show your partner how best to please you. Vibrators are one of the most popular sex toys, and there is more choice than ever with the range of products on the market. If you’re not sure where to start, here are some helpful resources: vibrator reviews, myths and facts, couples sex toys. Be sure to choose high quality toys and lubricants from a reputable store that cares about your sexual health. (e.g. Good Vibrations)

Happy romancing!

Love, Connie

*Note: If you are experiencing physical discomfort during sex, always see a doctor before attempting these tips.

What are your tips for great sex after 50, 60 and better? Please tell us by commenting below.

Photo credit: rx2web via Creative Commons

Overcome Stress and Depression: Nature as Therapy

Connie's Favorite Nature Spot

Connie's Favorite Nature Spot

How Can Women over 50 Reduce Stress and Depression? Take a Hike!

A staggering 80% of us live in urban areas — a statistic that illustrates just how many of us might be disconnected from the natural world. This is a shame, as studies have repeatedly shown that our psychological well-being is heavily impacted by our surroundings. Increasingly, nature and exposure to the outdoors — in the form of hospital gardens, group hikes, and horticulture classes  — are being used as a form of therapy for those suffering from depression, sleep disorders, chronic fatigue, gastrointestinal problems, muscle tension, and more. Scientists have found that merely being in the presence of greenery helps lower our systolic blood pressure and improve our mental faculties.

Since the evidence suggests nature and sunlight give us better energy, vitality, and the ability to relax, why not incorporate a few of these things into our daily lives?

  • Take a short walk — 20 minutes in the sun provides valuable vitamin D, which helps us absorb nutrients, regulates blood pressure, and promotes good bone health (great for women 50 plus!), skin elasticity, and cardiovascular health.
  • Stargaze! Take a few minutes in the evening to admire the moon and watch the sky light up.
  • Plant a vegetable garden — what better way to surround yourself with nature than to cultivate healthy organic produce?
  • Organize a picnic lunch to enjoy with friends in the park.
  • Make a point to catch the sunrise or sunset at least once a week.
  • Whenever you’re outside — walking to the park, the post office, or a friend’s house — take time to notice the flowers, trees, leaves, spiderwebs, and other instances of natural beauty.
  • Put a birdfeeder in your backyard. Birdwatching can be a tremendously enjoyable and stress-relieving act!
  • There are other ways to bring nature indoors with you:
    • Indoor plants are great; they cleanse the air, and caring for them provides a soothing, therapeutic activity.
    • Treat yourself to a small water fountain. The natural sound of moving water can greatly reduce stress.
    • Playing CDs that contain nature sounds can help you relax. At your desk, or wherever you choose, close your eyes, listen and breathe deeply for a few minutes.
    • Try putting up pictures of nature on your computer desktop to enjoy in passing.

One of the wonderful things about nature is the myriad of ways we can enjoy it. I’d love to hear your favorite methods of appreciation!

To your deep inner peace and joy, Connie

SAVE THE DATE: A “Joy after Fifty” Women’s Retreat

WHEN: The weekend beginning 11-11-11!! An auspicious date for personal transformation. This event will be powerful!

WHERE: The beautiful Westerbeke Ranch in Sonoma, Ca. Take a peek:   http://westranch.com/

WHAT: To get on the list for more information: CLICK HERE

Positive Psychology Video on Youtube: Harvard’s Tal Ben-Shahar Presents

Positive Psychology Teaches  How to Find Fulfillment and Happiness after Fifty

Did you know that 40% of your happiness is up to you? You can raise your “happiness set point”  by learning simple, proven habits and attitudes. My forthcoming book, Joy after Fifty, is based on those principles and practices from the field of positive psychology and the research on the “science of happiness”.

For 25 years, as a  licensed psychotherapist and coach, my natural inclination has been to focus on my clients’ strengths and talents, their values and aspirations–helping them to strengthen those qualities that empower their lives.

Prior to the Positive Psychology movement, psychology had focused on pathology, pain and what’s not working in someone’s life. It’s true that childhood wounds, self-destructive tendencies, negative beliefs  and such need to be healed and overcome. However, focusing on the positive–what IS going well– and teaching clients how to be happier, builds their courage, self-esteem, capacity to love and resilience to meet the demands of  these turbulent times.

EnJOY the video. Tal Ben-Shahar, who teaches the most popular course at Harvard, is an inspiring speaker, as you might expect!

CLICK HERE to contact me for more information about positive psychology phone coaching. Learn proven habits in 3 EASY 30 minute sessions from the comfort of your home or office!

The Power of Women 50+: Healing our World with Joy, Love and Compassion

A Woman's Joy Builds Resilience

Finding Our Power When We Feel Powerless

It’s easy to feel powerless in the face of the profound suffering in Japan and other places of strife around the world. But there is a powerful response that we women have been practicing for a lifetime. As life becomes more unpredictable, learning how to activate a state of  joy enables us to be resilient!  Joy is not a fluffy topic!

***********************************************************************************************************

After living five decades or more, we know what it is to rejoice, laugh, love, create, celebrate, and grieve, as women. We are bonded by our common heritage and privilege as women who have reached the most powerful time of our lives—our 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, and beyond.

We may look very different on the outside. Some of us wear business suits, others jeans, sundresses, or saris. Whether single, coupled, separated, divorced, or widowed, no matter which continent we inhabit, we are guardians of a priceless treasure—the capacity to love and to nurture, to facilitate and collaborate—to experience and share joy.

~ From my soon-to-be-published book ~

WHY DID I WRITE A BOOK FOR WOMEN ON JOY AFTER FIFTY?

Because  women 50+, who know HOW to activate a state of joy, in any circumstance, will be the midwives for the resilience of the human spirit in turbulent times–resilience for our own flourishing, as well as for our loved ones and our global family.

Let’s all make our joy a priority so we can be more patient, loving, kind, AND RESILIENT!

Love, Connie

*****************************************************************************************************************

On the Tragedy in Japan From Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh:

“As we contemplate the great number of people who have died in this tragedy, we may feel very strongly that we ourselves, in some part or manner, also have died.

The pain of one part of humankind is the pain of the whole of humankind. And the human species and the planet Earth are one body. What happens to one part of the body happens to the whole body.

An event such as this reminds us of the impermanent nature of our lives. It helps us remember that what’s most important is to love each other, to be there for each other, and to treasure each moment we have that we are alive. This is the best that we can do for those who have died: we can live in such a way that they continue, beautifully, in us.”

*************************************************************************************************************

PLEASE TAKE OUR FUN SURVEY. CLICK HERE!

Resilience in Sendai, Japan: Hope, Caring, and Love Triumph Over Devastation

Quan Yin: Goddess of Compassion

The human spirit triumphs after devastating earthquake and tsunami.

To start your week on an up note, I offer you a letter written by an American woman in Japan–a story of love, compassion, caring and strength. In these troubling times, I feel that we need stories like this to remind of the goodness that lives inside people.

Please pass this on to inspire your loved ones. We all need positive images and tales of compassion and loving kindness–to activate joy–the key to resilience in challenging times.

Here’s the link to this moving letter from Japan…

http://www.odemagazine.com/blogs/readers_blog/24755/a_letter_from_sendai

********************************************************************************************************

Would you comment below– share some good news, or a heartwarming story. I will include your name and contact information if I use it in a future post. Thank you for spreading joy.

********************************************************************************************************

Joyous springtime blessings!

Connie

Healthy Aging for Active Women: Superfoods for Beauty, Longevity and Vitality

Live Longer and Healthier with Superfoods

We’ve all heard that regular exercise is a miraculous way to stay vital and healthy. We know it boosts our mood, our sex lives, prevents chronic health problems, and aids in weight loss and high quality sleep. So, if you’re one of the many women working to stays active as you age, well done! But how can we support our bodies by giving them the strength and stamina they need to keep us fit?

Here are ten “superfoods” that provide valuable workout fuel to active women:

1. Cherries – Cherries are antioxidants that provide anti-inflammatory effects, thereby preventing muscle damage. If you can’t find fresh cherries, try drinking a glass of tart cherry juice after a workout to heal your body.

2. Ginger – Fresh ginger root contains ginergol (also an anti-inflammatory compound), and it can significantly reduce fatigued muscle pain. Steep some fresh ginger with a squeeze of lemon in hot water for a refreshing cup of tea, or shred ginger into a stir fry.

3. Flaxseed – Flaxseed is quite a multi-tasker. It contains healthy fats, powerful anti-inflammatory effects, and contains “lignans,” which provide our intestines with healthy bacteria (which is good for the immune system and reduces IBS symptoms.) Grind a tablespoon or two of fresh flaxseed in a coffee or spice grinder, then add it to your cereal, oatmeal or yogurt, or add it to a smoothie.

4. Avocado – Did you know avocados contain roughly 20 vitamins, minerals and phytonutrients? This creamy “superfood” is packed with potassium, vitamin E, iron, healthy fats, and it may even help the body absorb more nutrients from the foods eaten with them.

5. Sweet potatoes – Sweet potatoes are a healthy source of rich carbohydrate-filled energy. They’re also a great source of soluble fiber, and delicious baked with a drizzle of olive oil and pinch of sea salt.

6. Peanut butter – Research has shown that 5+ weekly servings of peanut butter can reduce the risk of heart disease and diabetes by over 25%. An added bonus? Peanut butter’s protein and healthy fats help to slow digestion, so you feel full for longer.

7. Greek yogurt – Greek yogurt has less sugar and twice as much muscle-building protein as regular yogurt. It’s also a wonderful source of calcium. For breakfast, top it with berries, honey or toasted nuts.

8. Coconuts – Studies show that coconut oil aids in fat burn because it metabolizes so quickly that it burns more calories than it contains. Try cooking with coconut oil, or adding shredded coconut to cereal or smoothies.

9. Eggs – Not only do they contain lots of protein, eggs are also rich in choline, an essential B vitamin that most of us are deficient in. Choline is a key compound in acetylcholine, our body’s most abundant neurotransmitter (required for proper thought and movement). Many physicians are now recommending we consume an egg a day.

10. Spinach – Active pre-menopausal women need to be especially mindful of their iron intake. Running and jogging can cause footstrike hemolysis, breaking down red blood cells and causing anemia. Spinach is a rich source of iron; try a salad with lemon-juice dressing, or this green smoothie (eating Spinach with Vitamin C makes its iron more available to our bodies).

*Whenever possible, choose Certified Organic products, as exposure to pesticides and herbicides can be harmful to our health.

Leave a comment and tell me what foods help you feel healthy, vital and energetic.

Talk to me! Tell me your needs and interests ! Click here to take our fun 30 second survey! Thank you for helping us serve you!

Here’s to your health and happiness! Connie

Photo credits (clockwise from left): Harmony Rae, WoodleyWonderworks, and Pink Sherbet via Creative Commons

Monday Morning Meditation for Earthquake and Tsunami Victims: Send Healing Prayers

Meditation for Inner Peace: Sending Our Love to Japan

What can we do? Maybe you are feeling, as I have been, so saddened and powerless to help the victims of the horrific earthquake and tsunami  in Japan. I feel as though there are no words to express the sorrow I feel…and the helplessness. At least I was able to make a donation to the Mercy Corps (one of the highest rated charities) Still, it felt small in the face of such destruction, loss, and human suffering.

Yet, I am more aware than ever of how connected we all are. The waves from Japan reached all the way to the shores of our beaches here in California. We were all impacted by images of the tragedy on TV and the internet. It occurs to me that we can send waves of love and compassion back to all the victims in Japan. Afterall, it has been proven that our prayers can enhance another’s healing, no matter the distance.

The video below is for us  to first  reach a state of inner peace from which to radiate our prayers to our brothers and sisters in Japan. May they be at peace. May they feel love. May they heal.

Enjoy the music, images and affirmations. I know that I am better able to share love, compassion, and empathy with all my fellow human beings when I am calm and at peace. Of course, I am more effective, as well.

May you be peaceful and at ease. May you  feel loved. May you be well.

Connie


Lower Blood Pressure, Improve Mental Health, Live Longer: Stress Relief Tips

Stress is not pretty...It makes us look older!

How to Reduce Stress, Increase Happiness and Longevity…

Stress is the leading cause of dis-ease! It can cause headaches, gastrointestinal problems, heart disease, high blood pressure, depression, fatigue, poor concentration, memory problems AND it can take years off your life! Yikes…

What can you do to relieve these debilitating symptoms? Plenty, as it turns out.

Health and science journalist Thea Singer’s critically acclaimed book “Stress Less: The New Science That Shows Women How to Rejuvenate the Body and the Mind” offers some scientifically proven insight:

  • Eat mindfully, don’t do a fad diet. Restrictive dieting has been shown to create mental and physical stress. You may wish to consult with a nutritionist to design a diet for your needs.
  • Reduce Sugar. It causes jitters and mood swings.
  • Snack on Pistachios. This may seem like an odd tip, but recent studies at Penn State revealed that pistachios relax blood vessels, resulting in lower blood pressure, LDL (a.k.a. bad cholesterol), and triglyceride levels.
  • Make Exercise Fun. Find a physical activity you really enjoy – then, do it regularly! Again and again, exercise has been linked to stress relief and improved overall health. Try to work both aerobic and strength training into your routine. Join a gym or go more frequently.
  • Add or Ramp Up a Yoga Practice.  It is a great way to increase strength, inner peace and wellbeing. BTW, I tried lots of classes and teachers till I found one that suited me.
  • Meditate. To research the effect of meditation on stress, the Shambhala Mountain Center set up a three-month meditation retreat in 2007.  Afterwards, participants experienced significant stress reduction.  This is because daily meditation allows us to reclaim control of our emotions, and restore inner peace. There’s no ‘right” way to meditate. Options include using a mantra, music, watching the breath, gazing at a candle flame.
  • Unplug and give up Multi-tasking. You know why, right?
  • Socialize. Go spend time with your friends and family! Researchers at UCLA report that “The degree to which having emotional support, the perception that this exists and the reality of its being there, basically means that your brain is bathed in lesser amounts of stress hormones.”
  • Relax before Sleep. Listen to calming music, sing, meditate, count your blessings.  Sleep-deprivation raises our stress hormone levels and inhibits immune function. In other words, plenty of restful sleep will reduce stress and leave your body feeling whole and healthy.
  • Dance! Studies show that choreographed dancing does wonderful things for us, mentally and physically. Learning dance routines provides mental stimulation, great exercise, and regular social interaction. Win-win-win!

Stress affects everyone differently, so each of us will prefer particular methods of stress-relief. Start trying out some of these ideas. I’d love to hear from you in the comments -what strategies leave you feeling most rejuvenated and empowered?

Wishing you joy and peace!

Connie

********************************************************************************

Please click here to take our 30 second survey for women 50, 60 and better!

Thanks for helping us bring you the information and experiences you desire!

********************************************************************************


Photo by theogeo via Creative Commons

Love and Peace to Sisters Around the World: 100 Years of International Women’s Day!

My Vision, Hope and Prayer: Power, Peace, Freedom and Happiness  for All Women!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Let’s pause right now, close our eyes and send a beam of love to the hearts of all women everywhere–especially to our sisters who struggle most with inequality, poverty and violence. See your love and compassion surrounding all women, everywhere— all the mothers, grandmothers, daughters, granddaughters, sisters, aunts—and all our ancestors. Now send the beam of love light back to your own heart to complete the circuit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here’s an interesting article of facts about our history and status as women:

http://www.mastersdegree.net/blog/2011/50-fascinating-facts-for-womens-history-month/

Check out: http://internationalwomensday.org/#largest for videos of celebrations around the world on March 8, 2011

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

NOTE: Please CLICK to take our 30-second Survey. Thanks so much!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Joyful blessings to you,

Connie

Monday Morning Motivation: I AM, a New Movie, Is Inspiration for Humanity

A Must-See Life-Changing Documentary called  “I Am” Gives Hope for the Future

On its way to Los Angeles and New York, this amazing movie  starts out asking  two questions:

****************************************************************************

  1. What is Wrong with the World?
  2. What Can We Do About It?

***************************************************************************

It shifts, however, to evidence of:

What’s Right with the World? (based on scientific research)

  1. We are all connected. Click to read about “mirror neurons”.
  2. Cooperation is basic to animal and human nature.
  3. Sympathy is the strongest trait in human nature. (Darwin)
  4. We are hard-wired for compassion.
  5. The heart, not the brain, is the CEO of the human organism.
  6. Practicing love and empathy leads to effectiveness and productivity.
  7. We are have the power to effect change in our world.

Click http://iamthedoc.com/toms-blog/ to read about the director, Tom Shadyak.

Spread the word. Forward this post to your loved ones and colleagues!

If you enjoy this post, please “LIKE”  it below. Thanks.

Here’s the trailer:

Powered by WordPress | Joy After Fifty